But . . . the bottom line . . . all those “things” and all the money that’s been taken from our home really does not matter to me all that much. Those items have never been my real priorities. And although it’s enjoyable to be able to have nice things, it’s the love, companionship, loyalty, and faithfulness that carry the most value for me. Those are, and certainly should be, the most treasured characteristics in any healthy relationship. It is that set of emotionally spiked treasures being taken from my life that are the real cause of my serious case of heartache and heartbreak. And . . . I’m sure Keri’s heart is perhaps quite broken as well. I don’t guess any of us will ever completely understand the particularly hurtful timing that was chosen to engage in such “unbecoming” actions last week, but they will certainly forever be a bruised set of footnotes to the dwindling number of birthday celebrations I have remaining.

And finally . . . I have whined enough! Writing is indeed an important form of therapy for me, but I realize that I have completely failed at keeping this brief and to the point. So . . . I now need to convey to all of you the most important part of everything that truly needs to be communicated clearly and compassionately to everyone that really matters!

Keri’s heart is not the only part of her that is perhaps suffering. Although I have been kept totally out of the loop on her medical issues for the last eight months (I’ve been told absolutely nothing), I did find out through intercepted and researched communications that she is going to have, or has already had, a major operation to (hopefully) correct some ongoing problems with her hip. It looks like it will be a huge undertaking that will require all of her strength and the skilled hands of a very specialized orthopedic surgeon. Again, I’m not really positive about any of the details. I'm not supposed to know the doctor, the hospital, or the actual name of the procedure. Keri and her family have all refused to let me know anything about her health issues during these past months, and have been increasingly belligerent and deceptive when I inquire, so I quit asking. It is beyond my comprehension as to why someone that has loved and cherished Keri and her family as much as I have would be refused the opportunity to know about such an important and risky medical event. I would never forgive myself should something go wrong during the surgery and I was not even aware that it was taking place and not able to be there with her and her family. From what I have been able to learn through sleuth and research, the operation will apparently require an extended recovery period with a lot of work and rehabilitation being required for many months. We all (especially me) really need to try to ignore all of the drama of my birthday week for the time being and just focus on wishing her a 100% successful surgical outcome and an eventual complete recovery filled with a majority of good days along the way. Her health and a positive recovery are vastly more important than any of those other “things” . . . and I so do hope that someone will eventually find it in their heart to quietly let me know that it all has indeed turned out well.

For now, all I can ask from our friends and family is to keep us both in your thoughts and prayers. If you are able to contact Keri, for Pete’s sake, don’t ask her what happened. Ask her how she is doing. Ask her if there is anything you can do for her. Maybe she could just use a visit or one of those marathon phone calls she loves to take part in. Ask her how her recovery is going once the surgery has taken place. Her favorite color is green, so send her a green thing. Let her know you are thinking about her and are joining her in spirit daily as she works toward becoming whole again. If prayer is in your daily life, keep Keri in your prayers. And you don’t have to worry about me. Although I love hearing from all you folks, make Keri the priority for now. She is the one who has made some huge decisions concerning her life and her health . . . and she could use the support, encouragement, and prayers . . . I’m quite certain. Even though she has much to hide in order to salvage her reputation and her professional career, I believe she'd enjoy having friends and family call to respectfully inquire about her surgery and her eventual recovery.

Meanwhile, my little Cajun rear end toughness is akin to that of alligator skin and has been honed to an added ruggedness over the years . . . and especially through the indignities I’ve had to suffer over the last few months and during my birthday “celebration” last week.

Yes, my heart is completely shattered. I’ve gone from tears and fears to physical pain. I never really believed that heartbreak could actually cause chest pain. I know the truth now. I lost a lot of weight during the past few months, but am slowly gaining it back (just don’t make the mistake of asking me to go to a Mexican restaurant). I’ve finally enlisted the trust and support of the closest of real friends who have truly amazed me, and as of my birthday week, I have my family to turn to as well. I made the mistake of trying to keep this all to myself for way too long. I guess that’s just how I’m designed. I know most of us guys tend to internalize and try to solve problems on our own. It has worn me down significantly. But . . . I’m determined to start working my way back to normal. I had hoped I’d be able to withstand all the strife for however long it took, with Keri and me eventually finding a way to reconnect and save our marriage. It was just not to be it seems. The current status of our relationship is certainly not my desired and wished for outcome of this intensely painful journey.

We were married for 15 years . . . the majority of it so wonderful and so incredibly romantic. We didn’t make it until “death do us part” . . . but you can bet on one thing for sure . . . when it’s my time to go . . . and my heart is about to stop . . . the last 15 beats . . . will be for Keri Lee . . .

:-(